motherhood

Five Simple Ways to Connect With Moms Who Feel Unsupported by the Church

Small Church| Families
February 12, 2024•3 min read

According to Motherhood Today, 79% of moms feel that their church doesn’t support mothers well, 81% of moms don’t feel that they are able to contribute meaningfully to the world, and 33% of moms regularly feel lonely and isolated from others. The same study also revealed nearly 1 in 4 Christian moms is dissatisfied with their church. 

While those stats can sting a bit for church leaders, they can also provide a great opportunity.  This information furnishes church leaders with insights into the disconnect or irrelevance many moms have towards the church. In Motherhood Today (2023), Barna added, “Congregations and organizations have much to gain if they intentionally represent, empower, and partner with mothers.” 

Mothers influence a great majority of household decisions. Take into consideration that  23% of American households have single parents and 80% of those are single mothers. Those single mothers are raising 15 million children on their own. Just think of those statistics again as they relate to single mothers and the ripple effect on their 15 million children.

What can church leaders take away and learn from these statistics? How can churches intentionally represent, empower, and partner with mothers? Here are some thoughts for your consideration as you navigate the information and discern how to apply it to your context:

  • VOICE AND REPRESENTATION: Eighty-seven percent of pastors in the United States are men. The median age in the United States is 38 while the median age of Mainline clergy is 58. Given these two facts, how are mothers of children under age 18 represented in both leadership and decision-making in your church? If a mother is not at the table, decisions with their needs and perspectives in mind will often go unmet. 

  • OFFER COMMUNITY: What are intentional and meaningful ways you are offering community for moms? It’s likely they don’t need or need more content! Content and information is everywhere. More than anything else, moms are looking for other mothers to connect with for support and camaraderie on their motherhood journey.

  • WELL-BEING: How is your church providing support for mothers’ emotional and mental health as well as her overall well-being?

  • SUPPORT: In what ways is your church gathering mothers and asking them what they would like?  What do they need? How could your church be helpful? What resources could your church provide? 

  • EMPOWER: What would be meaningful to the moms? How do the moms (or a mom) feel God is calling them to use their gifts in ministry? What kind of impact would moms (or a mom) like to make on their family, the community, or the world?

What is your first step in addressing these statistics?  Who will you share this information with today? How will you begin the conversation to start closing the gaps on mothers (and thus families) disconnect from the church? If your church does not currently have mothers of children under age 18 engaged in the life of the church, how will you begin to connect with them in your community? How will your church connect in meaningful ways to intentionally support, represent, empower, and partner with mothers?

Is your existing preschool or childcare center providing community for moms to connect? Perhaps your church has always dreamed of starting a childcare center. Is your church intentionally offering ways to represent, empower, and partner with the mothers of these students? If not, take a look at the Children’s Table. The Children’s Table, in combination with TheTable, offers pathways for building intentional, yet organic micro-communities for parents of childcare and preschoolers. Through a holistic approach, churches can reach Millennials and Gen Zers through this unique ministry while also creating a substantial revenue stream. Check out this webinar for an introduction to the Children’s Table. Contact us for more information or to set up a time to meet to learn more.

motherhoodcommunitywellbeingsupportempowerment
Kay’s purpose is to Equip and Empower Leaders of Faith Communities How to Engage in More Effective Ministry. Kay Kotan is the founder of You Unlimited (coaching, consulting and training company) and The Greatest Expedition – a collaboration of more than twenty thought leaders providing resources and insights for a congregational journey to develop new MAPS (ministry action plans) to reach new people in your community.  Kay also launched Multipliers’ Movement – a gathering of kingdom multipliers for sharing, equipping, and encouraging. She is a CoachU and Advanced CoachU Graduate, an accredited coach (PCC: Professional Certified Coach) with the ICF, International Coaching Federation, a Certified Path 1 Coach, and once served on the faculty at Coaching4Clergy. As a passionate lay person, she has a banking background and has been a business owner for more than 25 years. Kotan has served as a church developer for conferences and worked with churches, pastors, conferences, and judicatory leaders across the country for more than a decade. She is most proud to be the wife of Bob for over 30 years and the mother of their adult son, Cameron. Kay is the author of multiple books, workbooks, and resources including Gear Up: Nine Essential Processes for the Optimized Church, Cry From the Pew, Full Schedules, Barren Souls, Being the Church in the Post Pandemic World, and Journey Preparation: Surveying Your Church’s Landscape, as well as the co-author of the books titled: IMPACT!: Reclaiming the Call of Lay Ministry, Small Church Check-Up, Insights on Productivity, Renovate or Die – Ten Ways to Focus Your Church on Mission, Ministry 3.0 and Get Their Name , Ten Prescriptions for a Healthy Church, Necessary Nine – Nine Things Effective Pastors Do Differently, Launching Leaders: Taking Leadership Development to New Heights, Strategy Matters: Your Roadmap to Planning a Strategic Ministry Planning Retreat, Voices of Christmas: A Daily Devotional for Advent and Expanding the Expedition Reach Through Marketplace Multipliers. Mission Possible for the Small Church. Inside Out: Everting Ministry Models for the Postmodern Church, and more. Kotan and her co-author Bradford published their third version of the best-seller, Mission Possible: Simple Structure for Missional Effectiveness. Mrs. Kotan spends her time investing in pastors, laity leaders, congregations, and judicatory leaders through equipping, coaching, and creating resources to help them discover and live into their fullest missional potential of effectiveness and fruitfulness to reach people for Jesus Christ. Through her enthusiasm, truth-telling, and passion, she challenges those who encounter her in both their thinking and their doing.

Kay Kotan

Kay’s purpose is to Equip and Empower Leaders of Faith Communities How to Engage in More Effective Ministry. Kay Kotan is the founder of You Unlimited (coaching, consulting and training company) and The Greatest Expedition – a collaboration of more than twenty thought leaders providing resources and insights for a congregational journey to develop new MAPS (ministry action plans) to reach new people in your community.  Kay also launched Multipliers’ Movement – a gathering of kingdom multipliers for sharing, equipping, and encouraging. She is a CoachU and Advanced CoachU Graduate, an accredited coach (PCC: Professional Certified Coach) with the ICF, International Coaching Federation, a Certified Path 1 Coach, and once served on the faculty at Coaching4Clergy. As a passionate lay person, she has a banking background and has been a business owner for more than 25 years. Kotan has served as a church developer for conferences and worked with churches, pastors, conferences, and judicatory leaders across the country for more than a decade. She is most proud to be the wife of Bob for over 30 years and the mother of their adult son, Cameron. Kay is the author of multiple books, workbooks, and resources including Gear Up: Nine Essential Processes for the Optimized Church, Cry From the Pew, Full Schedules, Barren Souls, Being the Church in the Post Pandemic World, and Journey Preparation: Surveying Your Church’s Landscape, as well as the co-author of the books titled: IMPACT!: Reclaiming the Call of Lay Ministry, Small Church Check-Up, Insights on Productivity, Renovate or Die – Ten Ways to Focus Your Church on Mission, Ministry 3.0 and Get Their Name , Ten Prescriptions for a Healthy Church, Necessary Nine – Nine Things Effective Pastors Do Differently, Launching Leaders: Taking Leadership Development to New Heights, Strategy Matters: Your Roadmap to Planning a Strategic Ministry Planning Retreat, Voices of Christmas: A Daily Devotional for Advent and Expanding the Expedition Reach Through Marketplace Multipliers. Mission Possible for the Small Church. Inside Out: Everting Ministry Models for the Postmodern Church, and more. Kotan and her co-author Bradford published their third version of the best-seller, Mission Possible: Simple Structure for Missional Effectiveness. Mrs. Kotan spends her time investing in pastors, laity leaders, congregations, and judicatory leaders through equipping, coaching, and creating resources to help them discover and live into their fullest missional potential of effectiveness and fruitfulness to reach people for Jesus Christ. Through her enthusiasm, truth-telling, and passion, she challenges those who encounter her in both their thinking and their doing.

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