Leading Beyond Approval, Control, and Security: The Path to Missional Leadership

We live in a world filled with people seeking—seeking to belong, to have enough, to feel secure. Beneath every desire lies one of three core wants: approval, control, or security. These core desires shape our choices, guide our conversations, and influence how we lead.

The desire for security drives our need for stability—financially, relationally, or emotionally. The want for approval fuels our desire to be liked, valued, and accepted. The desire for control gives us the illusion of safety by managing people and outcomes. None of these desires are inherently wrong—they are human. But when they go unexamined, they can quietly derail our ministry and our mission.

As church leaders, we’ve all experienced moments when our core desires shaped our leadership. Maybe you resisted ending a ministry that had long lost its fruitfulness because you felt attached or needed approval. Or perhaps fear of not having “enough” staff, volunteers, or resources held your team back from taking a leap of faith. When our leadership decisions flow from ego-driven wants rather than missional focus, the church’s vitality suffers.

Jesus gave us a clear mission in Matthew 28:18–20—to make disciples, baptize, and teach the way of life He modeled. When security, approval, or control take priority, mission clarity gets blurred. Churches drift from transformation toward maintenance (or even decline), and leaders operate from fear instead of faith.

Missional leaders, however, choose differently. They evaluate every decision by one simple question: Does this advance the mission? They practice accountability, align resources with purpose, and empower others through love and trust rather than fear or ego. As leadership expert John Adair reminds us, “Simple organizational structure and clear accountability are necessary conditions for effective leadership.”

Are you ready to move from wanting approval, control, and security to walking confidently in God’s mission? That’s where missional leadership begins—and where real transformation takes root. Check out our on-demand course, Helping Healthy Leaders Build Healthy Churches. This course will help you identify how core wants influence your leadership—and how to lead from a place of spiritual abundance, purpose, and mission.