Comfortable in Church

Understanding the Invasion of Comfort that Has Stormed the Church

October 08, 20243 min read

In these days of cultural divisiveness, people long for moments and places of comfort. Comfort is often tied to familiarity and routine. We have a deep longing to know what to expect. Comfort provides those proverbial feelings of being wrapped in your favorite blanket on a chilly evening. Comfort can be described as feeling relaxed, being pain-free, freedom from worry or disappointment, a sense of ease, or even a feeling of relief or encouragement.

However, we were not promised nor guaranteed a life of comfort. We are assured we will be comforted in times of trouble, not to be trouble free. We are called upon to walk with others who are troubled as part of our own Christian discipleship. 

In the Beatitudes (Matthew 5), Jesus taught that the blessed are those who are hungry, peacemakers, poor in spirit, mourn, meek, merciful, and pure in heart. In that same passage, Jesus also taught that the blessed are those who are insulted and persecuted. For the blessed in these uncomfortable situations will be comforted, inherit the earth, will see God, and more.

I have recently encountered multiple church leaders who are struggling with churches who have grown way too comfortable. The people already gathered seem to value their own personal comfort over the sometimes uncomfortable Kingdom work. In their scarcity mindset, they value comfort and complacency over rocking the boat for missional purposes. It seemingly appears that keeping everyone happy and comfortable is a higher priority than fulfilling the purpose of the church - growing in our own faith and reaching new people.

Here are some considerations to help us understand this invasion of comfort that has stormed our churches:

  • Comfort leads to complacency. Complacency leads us to laziness. Laziness leads us to be more me-centric as individuals and as a church.

  • Being a Christian is about believing in abundance. Scarcity leads to poor decision-making, high stress, jealousy, hoard resources, and being self-centered.

  • Being a follower of Jesus is a life-long journey of transformation - the pursuit of growing more Jesus-like. Transformation is not free of discomfort, pain, and times of unease.

  • Change is inevitable - even in the church. The Good News doesn’t change, but how we reach out to people to share the Good News is constantly changing. When comfort becomes more important than the mission, the church is on a trajectory of closure.

  • Many times the pursuit of comfort leads to irrelevance.

  • When keeping people happy and comfortable becomes the goal, the church has lost its way. Course correction must take place to thrive let alone survive.

  • Often church leaders have the heart and mind for change. However, when the changes come with discomfort (for themselves or other congregants) those same leaders become resistant to the change. People report being open to change until the change affects them personally.

  • Leaders often lose momentum, stamina, and conviction to lead through change when they receive push back from the congregation. They forget to explain the why and instead turn back to keeping everyone comfortable.

  • Staying comfortable is easier than pursuing the Great Commission.

  • Being selfish to our own needs and desires is not a Christian virtue.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “All who want to come after me 

must say no to themselves, take up their cross, and follow me.”

Matthew 16:24 (MSG)

It takes strong, faithful, and persistent leaders to lead churches in today’s world. No one person can lead a vital church alone. It takes a core group of committed, mature disciples to lead a vibrant spiritual community. These leaders must often lead through uncomfortable seasons with people who are uncomfortable. It is often through our most uncomfortable times, that God orchestrates the biggest transformations, growth, and vitality. We must be persistent in our missional focus. Through our unwavering faithfulness, God will bless you and the ministry.

Kay’s purpose is to Equip and Empower Leaders of Faith Communities How to Engage in More Effective Ministry.
Kay Kotan is the founder of You Unlimited (coaching, consulting and training company) and The Greatest Expedition – a collaboration of more than twenty thought leaders providing resources and insights for a congregational journey to develop new MAPS (ministry action plans) to reach new people in your community.  Kay also launched Multipliers’ Movement – a gathering of kingdom multipliers for sharing, equipping, and encouraging.
She is a CoachU and Advanced CoachU Graduate, an accredited coach (PCC: Professional Certified Coach) with the ICF, International Coaching Federation, a Certified Path 1 Coach, and once served on the faculty at Coaching4Clergy.  As a passionate lay person, she has a banking background and has been a business owner for more than 25 years.  Kotan has served as a church developer for conferences and worked with churches, pastors, conferences, and judicatory leaders across the country for more than a decade.  She is most proud to be the wife of Bob for over 30 years and the mother of their adult son, Cameron.
Kay is the author of multiple books, workbooks, and resources including Gear Up:  Nine Essential Processes for the Optimized Church, Cry From the Pew, Full Schedules, Barren Souls, Being the Church in the Post Pandemic World, and Journey Preparation: Surveying Your Church’s Landscape,  as well as the co-author of the books titled:  IMPACT!:  Reclaiming the Call of Lay Ministry, Small Church Check-Up, Insights on Productivity, Renovate or Die – Ten Ways to Focus Your Church on Mission, Ministry 3.0 and Get Their Name , Ten Prescriptions for a Healthy Church, Necessary Nine – Nine Things Effective Pastors Do Differently, Launching Leaders:  Taking Leadership Development to New Heights, Strategy Matters:  Your Roadmap to Planning a Strategic Ministry Planning Retreat, Voices of Christmas: A Daily Devotional for Advent and Expanding the Expedition Reach Through Marketplace Multipliers. Mission Possible for the Small Church. Inside Out: Everting Ministry Models for the Postmodern Church, and more. Kotan and her co-author Bradford published their third version of the best-seller, Mission Possible:  Simple Structure for Missional Effectiveness.  

Mrs. Kotan spends her time investing in pastors, laity leaders, congregations, and judicatory leaders through equipping, coaching, and creating resources to help them discover and live into their fullest missional potential of effectiveness and fruitfulness to reach people for Jesus Christ.  Through her enthusiasm, truth-telling, and passion, she challenges those who encounter her in both their thinking and their doing.

Kay Kotan

Kay’s purpose is to Equip and Empower Leaders of Faith Communities How to Engage in More Effective Ministry. Kay Kotan is the founder of You Unlimited (coaching, consulting and training company) and The Greatest Expedition – a collaboration of more than twenty thought leaders providing resources and insights for a congregational journey to develop new MAPS (ministry action plans) to reach new people in your community.  Kay also launched Multipliers’ Movement – a gathering of kingdom multipliers for sharing, equipping, and encouraging. She is a CoachU and Advanced CoachU Graduate, an accredited coach (PCC: Professional Certified Coach) with the ICF, International Coaching Federation, a Certified Path 1 Coach, and once served on the faculty at Coaching4Clergy. As a passionate lay person, she has a banking background and has been a business owner for more than 25 years. Kotan has served as a church developer for conferences and worked with churches, pastors, conferences, and judicatory leaders across the country for more than a decade. She is most proud to be the wife of Bob for over 30 years and the mother of their adult son, Cameron. Kay is the author of multiple books, workbooks, and resources including Gear Up: Nine Essential Processes for the Optimized Church, Cry From the Pew, Full Schedules, Barren Souls, Being the Church in the Post Pandemic World, and Journey Preparation: Surveying Your Church’s Landscape, as well as the co-author of the books titled: IMPACT!: Reclaiming the Call of Lay Ministry, Small Church Check-Up, Insights on Productivity, Renovate or Die – Ten Ways to Focus Your Church on Mission, Ministry 3.0 and Get Their Name , Ten Prescriptions for a Healthy Church, Necessary Nine – Nine Things Effective Pastors Do Differently, Launching Leaders: Taking Leadership Development to New Heights, Strategy Matters: Your Roadmap to Planning a Strategic Ministry Planning Retreat, Voices of Christmas: A Daily Devotional for Advent and Expanding the Expedition Reach Through Marketplace Multipliers. Mission Possible for the Small Church. Inside Out: Everting Ministry Models for the Postmodern Church, and more. Kotan and her co-author Bradford published their third version of the best-seller, Mission Possible: Simple Structure for Missional Effectiveness. Mrs. Kotan spends her time investing in pastors, laity leaders, congregations, and judicatory leaders through equipping, coaching, and creating resources to help them discover and live into their fullest missional potential of effectiveness and fruitfulness to reach people for Jesus Christ. Through her enthusiasm, truth-telling, and passion, she challenges those who encounter her in both their thinking and their doing.

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