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Why Building a Sense of Community in Every Neighborhood is Vitally Important

February 11, 20253 min read

What is a sense of community? Why are people looking for it? Why is community important? We will explore these questions as we unpack the important and vital need for churches to build a sense of community in the neighborhoods they serve. 

After a person’s basic needs (physiologic and safety) are met, a person then longs for a sense of belonging, purpose, and impact (social, self-worth, and self-realization needs). COVID disconnected so many from their communities. Remote work became mainstream. People stopped participating in group activities and hobbies. As a result, those struggling with mental health skyrocketed and continues to be a great concern. In fact, nearly one in four American adults (60 million) experienced a mental illness in 2024. The top mental health challenges include depression, anxiety, isolation, and loneliness. 

A sense of connection through belonging is vital to our physical and mental health. The US Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, declared a national loneliness and social isolation epidemic in 2023. Murthy says, “Loneliness is a subjective feeling -- that the connections that we need in our life are greater than the connections we actually have.” Murthy acknowledges the decline in participation in organizations(recreational leagues, service and organizations) that has contributed to the isolation. Dr. Murthy explains, “We know now that when people struggle with things socially disconnected, over time, that it can have an impact on their mental health, increasing their risk for anxiety and depression, but also in their physical health, increasing their risk for heart disease, as well as dementia and premature death.”

Besides a sense of belonging, community offers the opportunity for people to find meaning for their life and how they can make a difference in the world. When the culture was previously more church-centric, these human social, self-worth, and self-realization needs were often found/met in the church. While some still find this in a church community, others have found it in other places (spiritual communities, sports leagues, non-profit organizations, etc.). Yet, as indicated by the statistics, the great majority of people are still feeling disconnected and longing for a sense of belonging, purpose, and impact.

There is great need and opportunity for the church to be a source of community for their neighborhoods. However as we explored in our last blog, an attractional approach to community is not effective. Rather, an approach to build authentic relationships in the community is needed. The approach is returning to the basics. Genuinely investing in new relationships is key. Focusing on an end game of the new friend becoming a new church member is not the recommended approach. Instead, a focus on investing in an authentic relationship because one truly cares about the person and wants the best for them. The opportunity to share about your faith will naturally evolve over time from a sense of curiosity and the desire to know one another more deeply.

Rather than spending time planning ministries for the upcoming year, what transformation could occur in your community and the lives of the neighbors if we were to instead focus on building new relationships with our neighbors? How might you be transformed by investing in the lives of new people? How might your community be transformed if there was less loneliness, isolation, anxiety, and depression because more people found a sense of belonging, purpose, and impact? How might your church be transformed if the congregation was more focused on making their community healthier and happier? What commitment are you willing to make in a new relationship in this upcoming season?


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Kay Kotan

Kay’s purpose is to Equip and Empower Leaders of Faith Communities How to Engage in More Effective Ministry. Kay Kotan is the founder of You Unlimited (coaching, consulting and training company) and The Greatest Expedition – a collaboration of more than twenty thought leaders providing resources and insights for a congregational journey to develop new MAPS (ministry action plans) to reach new people in your community.  Kay also launched Multipliers’ Movement – a gathering of kingdom multipliers for sharing, equipping, and encouraging. She is a CoachU and Advanced CoachU Graduate, an accredited coach (PCC: Professional Certified Coach) with the ICF, International Coaching Federation, a Certified Path 1 Coach, a TQ (Transitional Intelligence) Certified Coach, and once served on the faculty at Coaching4Clergy. As a passionate lay person, she has a banking background and has been a business owner for more than 25 years. Kotan has served as a church developer for conferences and worked with churches, pastors, conferences, and judicatory leaders across the country for more than a decade. She is most proud to be the wife of Bob for over 30 years and the mother of their adult son, Cameron. Kay is the author of multiple books, workbooks, and resources including Gear Up: Nine Essential Processes for the Optimized Church, Cry From the Pew, Full Schedules, Barren Souls, Being the Church in the Post Pandemic World, and Journey Preparation: Surveying Your Church’s Landscape, as well as the co-author of the books titled: IMPACT!: Reclaiming the Call of Lay Ministry, Small Church Check-Up, Insights on Productivity, Renovate or Die – Ten Ways to Focus Your Church on Mission, Ministry 3.0 and Get Their Name , Ten Prescriptions for a Healthy Church, Necessary Nine – Nine Things Effective Pastors Do Differently, Launching Leaders: Taking Leadership Development to New Heights, Strategy Matters: Your Roadmap to Planning a Strategic Ministry Planning Retreat, Voices of Christmas: A Daily Devotional for Advent and Expanding the Expedition Reach Through Marketplace Multipliers. Mission Possible for the Small Church. Inside Out: Everting Ministry Models for the Postmodern Church, and more. Kotan and her co-author Bradford published their third version of the best-seller, Mission Possible: Simple Structure for Missional Effectiveness. Mrs. Kotan spends her time investing in pastors, laity leaders, congregations, and judicatory leaders through equipping, coaching, and creating resources to help them discover and live into their fullest missional potential of effectiveness and fruitfulness to reach people for Jesus Christ. Through her enthusiasm, truth-telling, and passion, she challenges those who encounter her in both their thinking and their doing.

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