Building new relationships can be difficult because it often requires one to be vulnerable.  Step out of our comfort zone (places, circle of people, normal conversations). At the same time, we often make it more complicated than it really is. People are designed to be in relationship with other people.  People have an inherent desire and need to connect with others. We are also to show love and compassion for our neighbors. The Lord told Moses to say this to the community of Israel:

Don't mistreat any foreigners who live in your land.

Instead, treat them as well as you treat your own people 

and love them as much as you love yourself. 

Remember, you were once foreigners in the land of Egypt. 

I am the Lord your God.

Leviticus 19:33-34 (CEV)

As neighbors, Jesus followers, and congregants, we are called to a life of relationships. What can help us break through our hesitancies to build new relationships with new people so that we might be able to eventually share Jesus with them?  Here are a few ideas for your consideration:

• Find potential new relationships in places where you have a shared affinity. You could invest where you would have a shared interest such as a hobby (i.e., gardening or sewing) or activity (i.e., golfing, horseback riding).

• Show up agenda-free and full of curiosity. Offer transparency and a genuine interest in the other person. Have a sincere desire to get to really know your new friend.

• Approach new relationships with humility. You may be meeting your new best friend. You may learn significant and meaningful things from your new friend.

• Listen more than you talk. Ask open-ended questions that spur deeper discussions. Listen to intently hear the other person - not to focus on your response.

• Don’t be afraid of spiritual conversations. While we are often fearful of a faith-sharing moment, our fears are commonly unfounded. We inadvertently think that sharing our faith is a test on our Bible knowledge or answering deep theological questions. Seekers are likely more interested in hearing why you choose to be a follower of Jesus.

• According to a Pew Research Center survey, 70% of U.S. adults identify as spiritual or say that spirituality is very important in their lives. Therefore, framing relationship-building questions in the realm of spirituality rather than religion, the church, or a denomination is often welcome. In her podcast, On Being, Krista Tippett asks this (or similar) question of her guests: “I’d like to start where I always start by wondering about how you think about the spiritual background of your life, of your childhood.” In his blog, The Listening Church: A Question Most Church Leaders Avoid, Luke Edwards offers these spiritual conversation starters:

  • Hey, we’ve been friends a while, but I don’t know much about your spiritual life. Would you be willing to tell me about it?

  • Do you have any spiritual practices you’d be willing to share with me?

  • How would you describe the spiritual aspects of your life?

  • What brings you closer to God?

Which tips above resonate with you most?  Why does it resonate? What is one step you are willing to take in the upcoming season to build a relationship with a new neighbor?  How might you be transformed by reaching out to another person? Your community?