The most common response to asking how people are doing these days is being tired, worn out, weary, etc. We have gone through some unprecedented times. We have had to pivot until we are dizzy. I would like to suggest that the end of these times is near, but we would all be kidding ourselves to believe this. Instead, it seems we need to be better equipped, have increased self-awareness, and healthier personal boundaries. One of the biggest energy drainers is tolerations.
Tolerations can be defined as: Something you put up with that is depleting your energy and focus. Tolerations are distractions. These are often situations that we just come to accept or endure. This could be in your physical environment (the broken drawer that frustrates you every morning), your work environment (too many hours or uninspiring surroundings), your relationships (communication standards or ignored topics), or even your relationship to money (feelings lack or control). All of these types can steal energy from us and distract us from our purpose at any given moment.
We humans have learned how to put up with a lot in our lives. We put up with a variety of situations, behavior in relationships (in ourselves and others), frustrations, unmet needs, lowered standards, etc., etc.! These are things we really don’t like and we find irritating on a regular basis. Yet we often continue to let them drag us down rather than address them.
We often think about the word tolerate as a verb. Today I would like for us to consider it as a noun. Also let’s consider tolerations as something we do have control over rather than something that happens to us or that we are victims of. What are YOU tolerating? These could be minor irritations to major life-sucking situations.
Please take some time to write down the “stuff’ you sense that you are putting up with (aka your tolerations). As you think of more items, add them to the list.
Now, what to do about these tolerations? Do you want more time, space, focus, and energy available to you? If so, perhaps you can address some of these tolerations and get rid of them! Fix that drawer in the kitchen that sticks; make that call to your brother to apologize. Actually, simply becoming AWARE of what you are tolerating, will bring them to the forefront and you will naturally begin handling, eliminating, fixing, growing through and resolving them. Sometimes the “fix” to a toleration is actually how we view the toleration.
Tolerations is a great topic to be working on with your Coach. Eliminating tolerations is part of building a strong personal foundation. When a person has a strong personal foundation, life’s pivots are not quite so difficult. If you are not currently working with a Coach, please reach out and find one today. Having an on-going Coaching relationship is one of the most important and essential leadership tools for today’s effective leader.
